The Seahawk

SATIRE: Fun date ideas for you and your boo—according to a person with no expertise

The entrance to Randall Library on Feb. 12, 2020. Randall may not have a poetry night, but what is stopping you from reading sonnets and snapping anyway?

Jenna Tripp, Contributing Writer

February 13, 2020

Today we will be focusing on everyone’s favorite polarizing holiday other than Thanksgiving: Valentine’s Day! This is a time to celebrate love or to provide the opportunity to spark a new love affair. Let’s look deeper into some of the best date ideas for a first date or another night out with...

SATIRE: The best towns to live in after college—according to a person with no expertise

A runner endures yet another sunless day in Minnesota along Bde Maka Ska Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2020, in Minneapolis.

Jenna Tripp, Contributing Writer

January 30, 2020

Today we will examine different places to move after finishing the best four years of your life. “How could it go up from here?” You may ask. My answer is simple—check this article. I myself have never moved anywhere but from my home to my college apartment, so I figured I would be the most qualified...

SATIRE: I’m sorry “Cats”

Francesca Hayward as Victoria, center, and Laurie Davidson as Mr. Mistoffelees, right, in 'Cats.' (Universal Pictures/TNS)

William Becker, Staff Writer

January 2, 2020

I am sorry to anyone who spent money on tickets on “Cats,” I really am. Who hurt you? Did you not see the trailers for this movie and think, “Wow, what an abomination?” I am also so deeply sorry for the people who got into the theater and did not walk out after the first thirty minutes. I feel a dee...

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