Advice from Sally Seahawk 2/12/20 (loneliness, Valentine’s presents and other friends)


Genevieve Guenther

Sally Seahawk, Contributing Writer

How do I avoid feeling lonely/sad on Valentine’s Day?

Aside from getting good grades, being involved in school, creating connections and making life-long friends, we also have this pressure to find “the one” while in college. We hear it from our grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, neighbors, in movies, EVERYONE. And also, just the nature of the day itself—it is like a tsunami of red, hugs, kisses, roses and chocolates engulf us. With that being said, it is normal that you feel sad or lonely when you do not have someone. However, we can work past this. First, those life-long friends that you have been working on finding: not all of them are taken, so spend the day with them! Make it Galentine’s/Malentine’s Day. If you do not want to do that, then you can have a Selfentine’s Day where you show yourself all the love you deserve. You can find something fun to do; I know that the UNC Wilmington Baseball team is playing that day at 4 p.m., and what better way to spend the afternoon than watching our guys win! If that is not your thing, then guess what: it is also okay to stay home, order pizza, get some ice cream and binge-watch your favorite shows on Netflix, or rewatch all your favorite rom-coms. Cry your eyes out; nobody is watching. It is okay to embrace those feelings too; you do not have to avoid them. What I am getting at is—do what works for you and just remember that, come Feb. 15, all chocolate is 50 percent off at a store near you.

What should I get my significant other for Valentine’s Day?

Well, that really depends on what they are like. If they are the classic Valentiner (noun: a person that partakes in Valentine’s Day activities), then you know that flowers and chocolates are the way to go. You can also do the classic, candle-lit dinner at a really nice place, or better yet, cook for them and set the mood at your place. That is the definition of romantic. If they are not the classic type, which I think most of our generation is not, then you have to go for a unique gift. Do they like writing? Get them a journal and write a cute message on the first page. Do they like books? Get them “This Modern Love” by Will Darbyshire (a great book about love), and you can highlight the passages that remind you of them. I can already see the tears coming on! Do they like movies? Make them a movie basket with their favorite romantic movies, snacks, a candle to create the mood and ta-da. Do they like grand gestures? Grab some chalk and write something on Chancellor’s Walk or near your favorite spot on campus. You just have to know your person well enough to know what will be enough for them. Make it fit them so that you are sure it meets their expectations or even go beyond them. Now, go and get your love on!

I often feel jealous when my friends spend time with their other friends, how do I deal with that?

Oof. I think it is quite normal to feel this way at any stage of a relationship. Towards the beginning, you are trying to establish a relationship with that person, so not spending a lot of time with them might make you sad. On the other hand, towards the middle or years into the friendship, you might feel like this because perhaps you thought you had a solid friendship and you feel like you are losing them. The best thing you can do is talk to them. It is okay to sit them down over coffee and tell them what you are feeling. I think they will appreciate that better because both will understand where the other person stands. The key to a successful relationship of any kind is communication. I also think this mostly happens when someone with few friends becomes friends with someone who is super social and has several friends. You might just feel out of the loop and unsure of what to do, feel out of your element and such. You can always try to integrate yourself with some of their other friends. Or you can also get yourself more friends; there are plenty of people at UNCW who are just as great as your friend. Do not be afraid to branch out. In the end, you have to keep in mind that just because two relationships are not the exact same, it does not mean that they do not meet the same needs. Do not think that because your friend has other friends, that you are lacking somewhere.

That is all I have for you this week, Seahawks. Do not forget to send me your questions on Instagram @theseahawknews!

xx Sally Seahawk