My boyfriend and I have only been dating for about a month, but he wants to do something serious for Valentine’s Day. How can I tell him it might be too soon?

Hey! So maybe see what he defines as “serious.” Your idea of “serious” may be him taking you on a carriage ride on the riverfront and arranging a candlelight dinner. When in all actuality, his version might consist of getting dressed up and taking you to The Melting Pot. While the first month of a relationship can be crucial as you are both finding your groove, let things flow. It is never too soon to be shown that you are valued, loved, and appreciated. Nonetheless, if you are one of those people that is completely repulsed by the commercialism that is February 14, there is no harm in being transparent with him. Communication is key!

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk

Help, I have a crush on my TA! I know I shouldn’t, but they’re just too perfect. What can I do?

Oh my, that escalated quickly. Okay, so here’s the thing: it’s totally normal to feel attracted to someone in your field, especially if they are knowledgeable, helpful, and (of course) hot stuff. But let’s take a second to assess what could be a messy situation. As a student, there is a conflict of interest with an authority figure that’s just plain inappropriate. Putting your academic and or social reputation on the line may not be worth shooting your shot with the TA. You could be perceived as the dumb and desperate student thirsting for an A. Or your TA could lose their job. My good, sis (sis being a gender-neutral term), it just doesn’t seem like it’s the right time or place to let your feelings out. Maybe in a few years once you’ve graduated, but right now, it’s too risky. Until then, download Tinder, it’ll keep you entertained.

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk

Another Valentine’s Day of my family asking why I don’t have a boyfriend. How can I tell them I’m gay?

Coming out is a huge step in your life. The first thing that I would advise you to do is analyze the safety of your circumstances. Do you have a good support system? Have you heard your family or friends use homophobic slurs or insults? If you are still dependent on your parents for things like food, shelter, and water and you are unsure of their stances on the LGBTQ+ community, then attempt to pick their brain on the topic. There are a number of instances that I can think of where people have come out to their family and as a result been left completely on their own. If being financially independent is not something you can handle right now, then maybe you should wait to come out until you are on your own. Young members of the LGBTQ+ community experience high rates of homelessness, abuse, and suicide due to ostracism. Not coming out for safety reasons does not take away from your sexuality or identity. It’s okay to secure the bag and protect your sustainability.

Secondly, you must remember that coming out is not just a one time event. As we live in a world full of assumptions and stereotypes, you will continually have to acknowledge your sexual preference. Lastly, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Your rights, just like everyone else’s, are valid and justified. In the words of the great Lin-Manuel Miranda, “Love is love is love is love is love.” And you too, are love. Be true to yourself and try your best not to let anyone make you feel less for it. If you’ve got time during your day stop by the LGBTQ+ resource office downstairs in Fisher University Union, allies are all around you.

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk