Advice from Sally Seahawk

Sally Seahawk, Staff Writer

1. My boyfriend is graduating in May and attending grad school in California the following August. I’m really struggling with having to do a long distance relationship. How can I stop stressing about this?

A lot of relationships go through this stage. Going through your college years can cause a lot of change and uncertainty in a relationship. During this stage you need to keep in mind that your boyfriend has to make the best decision for his education, not for his relationship. The grad school in California could be one of the best schools for his program and can also be such a great opportunity for him. Be happy for him and support him through this transition time. I know long distance relationships are challenging, but they are definitely doable and can even strengthen your relationship. They require a lot of communication and effort from both individuals. Sit down and have a talk with your boyfriend about the situation and let him reassure you about things. Plan weekends for you to visit and weekends for him to come home. Set aside time to talk on the phone or FaceTime. Communication is the most important aspect of long distance relationships.

2. How do I tell my current roommate that I don’t want to live with her again next year?

This can be a tough situation because you don’t want to hurt your roommate’s feelings, but you also do not want to continue to live with her. As hard as it is, confrontation is the best approach to the situation. Avoiding the confrontation with her will only hurt you and your relationship with her. You will begin to dislike her more and more if you continue to live with her and the chance of still being friends will go down the drain. If you never confront her then you will most likely end up living with her again. This will effect how you live your life. You will find yourself trying to avoid your house because you want to avoid as much contact with her as possible. So confront her and make the situation better for yourself. Some people are just not meant to be roommates. You could approach the conversation by saying “I think we would be closer friends if we didn’t live together”. This is a very understandable statement and it doesn’t sound offensive, so it is less likely to hurt her feelings. Try to keep the focus on the positive impact it will have on your relationship to live separate from each other next year. You are doing yourself a favor by confronting her about the situation and being honest with her.

3. I am planning to transfer in the fall but I am scared about having to start over again. I don’t know if I am making the right decision because it is causing me a lot of anxiety.

Transferring can be a huge transition and can cause a lot of anxiety. Stress and anxiety is a normal response to such a big transition. You have to keep in mind that you have been in this situation before. When you decided to move to Wilmington and begin college I am sure you felt anxious about making new friends and joining new clubs. Well good news, you did it! You made friends that you are now sad and nervous to leave. You now have an opportunity in front of you that will allow you to meet more new friends and join clubs at your new school. Make sure to get involved when you transfer and find your group of people and make friends. Before you know it you will love your school and friends just as much as you love your friends here in Wilmington. Research other schools thoroughly and find the one that best fits you and your wants. Think positively about this change and all of the new opportunities that it will provide for you.