The holidays are a trying period. There are infinitely more social occasions, more food, and more booze than any other time of the year. Those two months or so can take a toll on someone, almost to the extent that he or she is relived to get back on schedule; to fall back into the routine that makes up the other ten months out of the year.

It’s so convenient that the holidays come pre-packaged with something that ultimately justifies all the lounging, eating, and late night alcohol binges: the New Year’s resolution.

We hear or say it every year: “This year is going to be different.” We promise ourselves that we will get in shape, quit smoking, or correct whatever else we don’t like about ourselves.

I remember reading somewhere that roughly ninety percent of New Years Resolutions don’t make it three months before they are broken. Those are some pretty intimidating odds; so much in fact that it’s hard to believe anyone truly thinks that they can pull something like that off.

Why do we always break these contracts with our conscience? It’s not like we don’t have any help in the matter; there are people and companies whose years are probably made or lost in the coming months (or maybe weeks) due simply to New Year’s Resolutions. Think about it: we’ve got Jenny Craig, Gold’s Gym, Nicorette, and countless others in our corner, yelling words of encouragement as we fight this battle with our own temptations. I mean, have you ever seen the guy in the Gold’s Gym logo? He should be enough motivation to scare anyone to get in shape.

But hey, there’s always this year. It’s like going back to school after you flunked every class the previous semester; you have the same grades as that guy who sits in the front of the class and knows every answer to every question the teacher asks (even the rhetorical ones).

As far as I go, I resolve to be a much better writer. Yes, I have had some bad reviews in the past, but I plan on blowing minds this year, possibly winning some awards and doing a couple of mid-day talk show spots (I’m holding out for Ellen).

Of course, if the past is any indication, that will last a few weeks and then I’ll be back to the same old gibberish that you guys got all last semester. Only time will tell…