A foolproof solution

James Edmonds | Contributing Writer

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Alabama isn’t a stranger to stirring up national controversy, and recently they have been at it again. A recent Alabama law requires public schools to check the citizenship status of all students. The District Court will be having a hearing on the new law in the near future, but most expect that it will progress to the Supreme Court. The reason behind the new law, according to Alabama Rep. Mike Ball, is to allow for less competition in the workforce.

It’s a well-known fact that competition in the workforce is the absolute worst thing for the economy; I believe the excess of competition is the real reason for our current economic recession.

That being said, I don’t understand why it is so controversial. Obviously we, as hardworking American people, don’t want our tax dollars to fund the education of people who may not have been born here. I think the new law is a little soft even. I think we should also make public libraries and bookstores check the citizenship status of anyone wanting to read in order to stop illegal immigrants from having access to knowledge.

In addition to preventing competition in the future, steps need to be taken to curtail any competition in the current job market. Illegal immigrants traditionally work manual labor jobs, especially in the construction industry. The only reasonable way to prevent illegal immigrants from keeping these jobs, or competing with true Americans for these jobs, is to take away their right to the fuel that keeps them going in these manual labor jobs.

We need to make grocery stores check the citizenship status of all possible immigrants trying to purchase food or water.

There’s no way that these immigrants will be able to survive in manual labor positions without food or water, which makes it the perfect solution to the excess of competition in the current job market. Once they have all starved, dehydrated or vacated the nation we will have succeeded in cutting competition in the work force and saving the economy.