Let’s calm down everyone.

In the wake of last week’s Super Bowl, Eli Manning is one hot commodity. Some have sealed his place in the Hall of Fame. Others have called him the better Manning brother.

My personal favorites are the people that call Eli better than Tom Brady, Manning’s opposition in the big game. Don’t get me wrong, Eli is a great quarterback. He brought down the mighty New England Patriots twice when it counted, a feat 31 other quarterbacks in the NFL could not say. I’ll even settle with Eli being a tad more clutch when it counts.

But there is no way, and I repeat, no way, that Eli Manning is a better quarterback than Tom Brady.

Let’s take a little time to compare the Golden Boy vs. Peyton’s little brother. Tom threw for 5,235 yards this season. Eli? He threw for 4,933. Advantage: Tom.

Brady also had more touchdown throws, less interceptions and a better QB rating. Eli was the first pick in the 2004 NFL Draft and has put up average numbers so far. Brady was the 199th pick in the draft, and will go down as one of the top-three quarterbacks to ever play professional football. But, enough of the boring stuff, let’s get to the real reasons.

Brady played his college ball at the University of Michigan, the most successful college program of all time. Eli played at Ole Miss, a school that tried to get a Star Wars character as their mascot. And failed.

On a daily basis, Brady gets compared to the likes of Joe Montana and Dan Marino. Eli gets compared to his older brother and any upset fourth grader.

Tom graces the covers of many men’s fashion magazines and is always looking sharp. Eli always looks like he just sat on something sharp—I blame the upset fourth grader.

Tom Brady has three Super Bowl rings. Eli Manning has two.

Brady gets endorsed by a slew of men’s colognes and big-name corporations, such as Smart Water and Nike. Eli is endorsed by Citizen Eco-Drive, a wristwatch company that hired him only after Tom Brady turned them down.

Brady is a two-time NFL MVP, with his second one being the only unanimous vote in NFL history. Eli’s mom calls him an MVP everyday before she drops him off for work.

Gisele Bundchen vs. Abby McGrew. Look it up.

Gisele Bundchen vs. anyone, really. Tom wins.

All in all, terrific Tom takes the cake. Any key category you throw out, Tom probably takes it. And, while it’s true that you cannot spell “elite” without “Eli”, it’s also true that you can’t spell “Tom Brady is a better quarterback than Eli Manning” without “Tom Brady.”