What’s your story? If you had the chance to share it, would you? In an effort to support Women’s History Month, I created a forum for women on campus to express how it truly is to be a woman in today’s society. After reading through the responses, I realized the answer. To be a woman today is to be resilient, intuitive and most of all striving to be heard. Women try every day to not be forgotten or compared to standards that almost feel impossible to reach. These are the stories of women ages 18 – 21 that currently attend the University of North Carolina Wilmington. You may realize this article isn’t formatted in a traditional manner; this is intentional. To keep their voices, their stories, at the center of the conversation.
What’s something people don’t realize about being a woman today?
Maya Lieberman: Everything is a performance. How you look, how you don’t look. How you’re dressed and even your personal interests and hobbies are all a performance. Whether you’re seeking validation from the system that kicked you down, or punching back against it, you’re still performing. Even being unnoticed is both an act of subtle rebellion and inherent submission, and there’s no escape from the male — —
Alexandra Stamou: Many women grow up feeling obligated to be a mother, a homemaker, successful in their careers and a caretaker, all while still trying to figure out who they are, learn to love themselves and truly experience life. There’s also an unspoken expectation that women should have everything figured out, and mastered, before they even reach their twenties.
Brooklyn Dahlquist: Sometimes as a woman you don’t feel safe everywhere or anywhere.
Lexi Rodgers: Something that people don’t realize about being a woman today is that women’s health and hygiene is overlooked. Period products are annoyingly overpriced, and gynecologist checkups can also be expensive, so they are difficult to access for some women. People don’t realize how much mental and financial energy women spend just to manage our health and hygiene, and it’s a universal aspect of womanhood people don’t really talk about.
Alisa Zeneli: Progress doesn’t mean equality everywhere. On paper, women have more rights, visibility and opportunities than ever before. But in reality, those gains depend heavily on where you are and who you’re with. A woman may be respected in one classroom, workplace or relationship and diminished in the next. Sure, she’ll be encouraged to speak up… that is until her voice challenges comfort, tradition or [male] authority.
Have you ever experienced Gender Based Violence? To protect privacy, participants have chosen to remain anonymous for this question. Responses have been randomized, and all identifying information has been concealed.
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I was 16, and my 18-year-old boyfriend told me it would be okay. I was sexually assaulted by one of my guy best friends last semester. He was someone who I wholeheartedly felt safe around and comfortable with. I was one of those people that said it would never happen to me. It completely flipped my world upside down for a while. I blamed myself and was too afraid to speak up about it. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I’ve been in relationships where people didn’t respect my boundaries because they saw me [as] less than them. I was 15. I thought it was my fault. That if I didn’t sit next to him in class or try to be friends, it would’ve somehow prevented it. It was at school, a place I was meant to feel safe. He grabbed me by the neck and started cursing, threatening me repeatedly. When I pushed him off, he laughed. He left bruises on my neck. I started believing that they weren’t there, that I was being overdramatic and wanting attention. I even remember I’d wear my hair down and obsess over covering them in class, anything for no one to know. I didn’t tell anyone because as much as I wanted to be heard, I didn’t want to be the girl he hurt. Yes. I was at a bar downtown , and a guy asked me to dance. I told him no because I had a boyfriend and he pushed me into the wall.
Do you feel pressure to be a “certain kind” of woman? From where?
Rodgers: Yes. Often, I feel pressured to develop and fit into a certain aesthetic, especially when girls I see constantly on social media have one. In general, I feel like there is a pressure among women to live their daily lives in an appealing and attractive way, which is an aspect I don’t think boys really think about. Social media culture overall creates a constant pressure for women to measure up with another.
Angelica McComas: I feel like there’s pressure to be strong and independent at this time in history. But we’re being given laws that limit that, and in fact, try to stop that type of growth.
Olivia Dixon: People want women to be in the background and polite rather than present and outspoken. I get this impression from those of an older generation in my life.
Lieberman: As a black woman, society expects me to be “strong” and “resilient,” in order to excuse the abuse that black women have experienced from the system. Personally, I’m not strong in the slightest. I cry when I see roadkill and feel bad when I squish my stuffed animals in my sleep. While the term “strong” is subjective, and strength can be found quite easily within sensitivity, it is obvious what is meant when the world labels black women as such. We are told to bear the weight of the world while having any sort of benefit be stripped from us, and sensitivity often lands us labelled as “whitewashed” or “not black enough,” while any other woman’s sensitivity further confines her into a box of femininity.
Lexy Plotts: Sometimes I do feel pressure to keep feminism and politics out of things, but I feel like if we don’t at least talk about things and the way we feel about them, they will never change.
What advice would you give younger girls growing up now?
Stamou: What I’ve learned is that the most important perspective is my own. What I see in the mirror matters more than society’s expectations. Being a woman today means unlearning impossible standards and choosing to stay true to myself, even when the world tries to shape me into something else. Always love yourself, and never doubt your worth for a second.
Plotts: Don’t be hard on yourself. All girls are pretty. Just because you don’t look a certain way doesn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful.
Hannah Paris: Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t achieve.
Lieberman: If you are “too loud” or “too energetic” or even “too fat” or “too tall,” don’t force yourself into a box for people’s approval. Do not be afraid to take up space, physically or socially. The worst thing a woman can do for herself is hide herself. Live for yourself and do so loudly.
Alisa Zeneli: Learn to not be a people pleaser. As a woman, you are constantly expected to be soft and submissive. To take anything thrown at you with grace and kindness. Learn to fight back. Be loud. Be sharp. Do it for the ones who can’t.
If you take any of this with you beyond this page, let it be that women are so much more than they are perceived to be. More than expectations, more than the pressure. Every single woman has a story. Some good, some terrifying, but all true. All that comes together to define the women you walk past on Chancellors, sit next to in the lecture hall or even smile at you when you didn’t know you needed it. Every single story deserves to be heard, to be seen. Especially those that are “in the background,” “dainty” or “too much.”
So, my advice to younger girls: never apologize for caring.
Thank you to all the wonderful women who participated in this forum : Maya Lieberman, Lexi Rodgers, Cassidy Obrian, Brooklyn Dahlquist, Angelica McComas, Lexy Plotts, Alexandra Stamou, Laura Orne, Alisa Zeneli and Emma Altman.
sammy1234 • Mar 23, 2026 at 10:31 pm
This is such a cool idea and so wonderfully executed 🙂