Who is Trisha Paytas to you? A disgraced YouTuber. A new mom with oh-so-unique baby names. To me she was just a funny lady who sang the iconic “I Love You Jesus” song that would get stuck in my head randomly once a week. This was until March 29, when Paytas visited Raleigh, halfway through “The Eras of Trish Tour,” at the Raleigh Memorial Auditorium. On a seemingly random Saturday night in Raleigh, I discovered the depth behind one of YouTube’s most controversial stars.

Paytas began her YouTube journey in 2007 with the posting of her first video. Her channel has journeyed through many phases, including mukbangs, comedy and music. Throughout her career, Paytas received backlash that can only be referred to as being canceled numerous times. Among the list of alleged crimes against the internet, include coming out as trans when she isn’t, identifying as a chicken nugget and racial jokes that did not land well. Paytas has openly been a troll on the internet, but since the birth of her children she has simmered down on outrageous comments said with the intent to get views. While some of her content has been deemed trolling or rage bait, Paytas has always been open about her love for singing. Before creating her own music and music videos, which she shared on her channel, Paytas would break out in song. In 2013 Paytas posted a cover of “Popular” from the musical “Wicked”.

In the time of cancel culture, Paytas seems like just the person who would be shunned. A quick Google search reveals that many people spend their time writing publicly how much they hate Paytas. How could such a seemingly hated woman be touring around the country in glittery costumes to thousands of fans in every city? Despite the internet’s relentless attacks, Paytas prevails.

Paytas opened her show at the early hour of 7:30 p.m. with a cover from “High School Musical” by singing “Bet On It.”  She continued the night with other covers from the Broadway musicals “Wicked” and “Beetlejuice.” For the audience clueless on all things Broadway, she sang many of her own songs including, “Lullaby,” “I Love You Jesus” and “Freaky.”  During “Lullaby,” the screen lit up with pictures of Paytas’ two children at home. Throughout the night one thing remained clear, Paytas loves her family.

Paytas has been very public sharing information about her growing family. In 2022 Paytas and husband Moses welcomed their first daughter, Malibu Barbie Paytas-Hacmon. Their second daughter, Elvis, was born in 2024 and Paytas is currently pregnant with baby number three due this summer. Despite her pregnancy Paytas did not show any signs of fatigue in Raleigh. She remained dancing and belting with the occasional twerk. As seen on YouTube, Paytas can put on a show.

Through the glitter and bubbles, Paytas brought something else to the stage, she remained incredibly human. Paytas opened up about her infertility struggles on stage and how grateful she was to have found her husband. Living life publicly online for so many years opens people up to a lot of scrutiny, and Paytas is no exception.

Paytas has never been shy about her mental health struggles. Paytas, who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, made sure fans at her show knew that despite mental health struggles, they could be successful. She gave them an important reminder: “Mental health is not a competition.” This statement is relevant in today’s society, where sharing mental health struggles on TikTok often leads to the response that “someone has it worse than you.” The message that we should be grateful that we aren’t as bad off as someone else is harmful. It is important that everyone is heard and listened to. Whether someone else has it worse than you is irrelevant, and as Paytas said, mental health is not a competition.

To her fans in the audience, Paytas reminded them “that she is proof that it gets better.” Paytas talked about how she went from struggling continuously in years prior but now is living her best life. This year alone Paytas has embarked on her tour and made her Broadway debut in her own one-night-only “Trisha Paytas’ Big Broadway Dream.” Paytas’ show didn’t stop with messages about mental health, she also talked about body positivity before singing her song, “Fat Chicks.” Paytas talked about writing the song “Fat Chicks” at a time where she was unhappy with her body as a way to convince herself to love it.

It is a wonder how cancel culture has failed to catch Paytas. Paytas is humorous but possibly at a dangerous cost. The important thing to remember when interacting with anything Trisha Paytas is that she is a known internet troll. Paytas has been deemed an internet troll by those who did not find humor in her ways. At one point in her career Paytas mixed ignorance and humor in a way that was off putting to many. However, since the birth of her daughters, she has stayed out of the controversy limelight. Despite a few mishaps on her podcast “Frenemies,” Paytas seems to not be under attack for the first time in a while. Is this a sign that society has finally moved from the height of cancel culture? Cancel culture is dangerous. A forgiving society is a society that can enjoy attending “The Eras Tour of Trish.” It is time to leave cancel culture behind, allow public figures to make mistakes as you do.

Paytas has remained an avid internet user. Before every show, she asks her fans for food recommendations. Before the Raleigh show Paytas posted a picture to her story of her and her recommended Cook Out order. Paytas’ use of social media shows just how much support she has received and how much she truly loves her fans. While it was clear during the show that Paytas was appreciative of all the fans who showed up for her, she continued the love on Instagram the next day. “It is an honor and a privilege to get to perform each night but last night, I just couldn’t leave the stage lol. North Carolina – you have my heart and will be back soon,” she stated in a post. In between sharing heartfelt messages on stage, Paytas kept her signature humor. After asking the audience how we felt about another popular NC resident youtuber, MrBeast, she listened as the audience booed for a considerable amount of time. During outfit changes Paytas compiled clips from her YouTube channel, providing a history lesson of sorts for those who had only recently stumbled upon her.

There is nothing else to say but that Paytas is an icon. There is no other way to describe her. She is an unstoppable enigma who has survived and entertained the internet. Yes, she is an imperfect woman but sometimes entertainment comes in unconventional ways. Unconventional in this case means an internet troll turned touring-mom. There is nothing wrong with enjoying Paytas’ many forms of content – she truly does it all. When we leave cancel culture aside and turn up “I Love You Jesus” we see Paytas for who she truly is, a YouTuber turned pop star.