The widely coveted “typical college experience:” a big friend group that supports you through every up and down and parties with you on weekends. This type of college experience is one that we know well from its overexposure in popular media. Things like dating around and joining Greek life are marketed to college students as the necessary steps to enjoying their college experience.

Whether it’s the amount of time spent engaging with campus life or weekend activities, the college experience is much different for students who are committed to a long-term relationship.

Cassie Davies, a Watson College of Education class of 2024 alumna, married her high school sweetheart right after graduating college. She shared that because she had a best friend in her now husband, Skyler, she did not have a huge friend group while in college.

“Lots of people had their friend groups, but the majority of my time was spent with him,” Davies said.

Fiona McPhail, a senior nursing major at UNCW, married her husband, Luke, the summer before her junior year of college. She agrees with Davies that her social priorities changed because of her spouse.

“When Luke and I got married, my friend group kind of dwindled. I chose friends who supported my husband and I’s relationship,” McPhail said.

Heather Furr, a senior in the Watson College of Education, got married during her junior year of college, and shared that it changed her perspective on the way she lives and the things she values.

“It taught me a lot of life skills like how to say no to people and prioritize what was more or less important than my spouse,” Furr said.

On the weekends, you probably wouldn’t find these students at a frat house or hanging out around campus. Davies stated that her weekend routine often consisted of leaving Wilmington entirely.

“I would travel on the weekends to go see [Skyler], so it definitely affected what I did in my spare time,” Davies said.

For Furr and McPhail, their spouses were the main motivating factor for achieving success in school.

“[Being married] motivated me to do my schoolwork because I was focused so much on getting done with school to be with this person more,” Furr said.

“I think getting married was beneficial to me in my college experience because I had a supporter. He was there to help me study everything, and it’s just one consistent person that you know will always be there for you,” McPhail said.

Davies, Furr and McPhail all agreed that they aren’t left with any regrets about how they spent their college experience.

“I don’t really feel like I missed out on anything, because I think I had something special that a lot of people don’t have. I think what I had was different if not better than what most people experience,” Davies said.

“I don’t feel like I missed out, because meeting that person made college all the more exciting and all the better,” Furr said.

McPhail made sure to emphasize that her life did not end after she got married.

“I can still do anything I want while married. I can still go out, I can be with friends, so I don’t think I missed out on anything,” McPhail said.

Feeling like you’re missing out on something by not having the college experience you see advertised by movies, online, or in any form of media is normal. It can be hard to be yourself when there’s so much pressure to do certain things to enjoy your time at college, but just take it from Davies:

“I think there’s this kind of utopia that people create from a college experience, but everyone’s experience is so different.”