A lot of my friends reach out to me for advice, however no one ever asks how I’m doing. I feel like I’m drowning.

Seeing as I am literally in charge of the advice column, I’m sure that you can imagine that this feeling is not unbeknownst to me. Being vulnerable is very difficult, especially if you have a history of being disappointed, let down, or discouraged from sharing your feeling. Many people build a metaphorical wall (not funded by tax-paying Americans) around their emotions to guard their heart. How you feel is not unjustified and it’s not selfish. Reach out to a friend or family member that you trust wholeheartedly and let them know how you’re feeling. You don’t have to disclose all of the goods, just let them know you’d like to be heard. Being the reliable friend is a heavy load to carry and sometimes you just don’t have the emotional capacity to carry everyone else’s burdens. If the people that you are counseling regularly are your true friends, then they will understand if you tell them, “Hey, I’m not in a good mental space to handle this right now. Can we talk later?” If they don’t get it, good riddance and snip-snip. You are your longest commitment and you deserve to take care of yourself first.

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk

I’m afraid of intimacy, but I think that I am in love with my best friend. What should I do?

Whew, child, haven’t we all been there? Goodness! So, here’s the thing – we’re  at this weird age where some of us are in uber serious relationships, getting engaged, and having children, whereas others of us can be found in our beds, eating Girl Scout Cookies, watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model (obviously, not me). Finding someone to be truly intimate and vulnerable with is both special and rare. This process is complex by itself, but when you add in the fact that you have feelings for your best friend, you’re in a full-on enigma. I would first like to advise you to make a list of pros and cons of exclaiming your feelings. What do the best and worst case scenarios look like? Best case, your best friend admits that they are also in love with you and you both ride off into the sunset. Worst case, things get super awkward and the friendship falls into in a deep dark pit. No matter what the pros or cons are, you should mentally prepare for both the good and the bad, but also assess how it’ll make you feel. If you just need to get it off of your chest to release the pressure, by all means, go for it. But if your heart is dead set on your way or the highway, maybe you should try to work through this on your own. I’ve been in a number of situations like this and each of them have ended differently. Whichever direction you go in, do it with confidence. What is meant to be will be.

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk

I really want to start losing weight but I’m too lazy.

Body image is such an interesting-yet-touchy subject. Whether it be through media messages or the people that we hang around, our desperate need to be connected forces us into a life of comparison. I have always struggled with my weight, but things only get better when you take a step back and realize that you are in control. In order to ease your way into a healthy lifestyle, think about making these easy adjustments. First, avoid elevators at all costs and take the stairs. Yes, it does take longer and, yes, you will be out of breath, but it gives you the slightest amount of exercise that you can congratulate yourself on. Second, eat breakfast! It’s the most important meal of the day for a reason. Whether it be a bowl of cereal, a cup of yogurt, or the Wag special, make sure that you get something into your system. Third, do not (and I repeat) do not eat after 8. Eating late is not good for you. Adjust your schedule so that you can have a filling dinner around 6 or 7. If you get hungry late, have a healthy snack like a piece of fruit, granola bar, or even a piece of avocado toast, just not anything heavy. Eventually, I would advise going to the gym and assessing your diet (How often do you eat out? Are you eating balanced meals?), but this is a good way to start your healthy journey. I would like to end this piece of advice with an ancient proverb: “The beach gon’ get whatever body I give it.” Best of luck.

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk