How do you deal with having a thing for a close friend? I don’t wanna mess up our chill relationship.

The clear first step is figuring out how they feel about you or about relationships in general, though I can see why that is an intimidating feat. I’ve never been a big fan of giving “signs” because those are easy to misinterpret, so the goal is to get clear answers. My suggestion is to find another close friend that is willing to act as a “mediator” between you and your crush, someone who can throw out feeler questions like, “Would you date so-and-so?” If they respond with, “Nah, I only see them as a friend,” then you have your answer and you don’t really need to do anything else. If they smile and say, “I don’t know,” that’s something you might be able to work with. Be warned, though, because this could prove to be a huge test of your maturity, as your response to your friend’s answer is almost more important than whatever proposal you have up your sleeve. Whether it’s your friend or not, you have to be willing to accept any answer they give you and respect their boundaries. It’s great if they let you in, but if they want to keep things friendly, it’s your duty to make sure you don’t start “creeping in” on them. The relationship can still be “chill” if you allow it to be.

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk

I’ve had a crush on this guy for years, but I’ve been too nervous to talk to him for the longest time. We just started talking, but now I found out he’s moving. Should I even bring up the possibility of a long-distance relationship or just give up?

If by “talking” you mean outwardly flirting with one another, then you might actually be in a better spot than you would think. If he does express interest in a long-distance relationship, that’s great! If he doesn’t, the blow is lessened by the fact that you won’t have to see him around much. If the goal is just to get everything off of your chest, you can totally confess your feelings without the weighty expectation of a complicated relationship. Long-distance dating isn’t ideal, so it’s probably a hard sell to someone that you’ve only recently begun speaking to. That being said, it’s not impossible, and if you do choose to go for the relationship, I wish you the best of luck! Remember that communication is key with any relationship, but it’s especially so when the physical aspect of the relationship isn’t there.

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk

My friend just broke up with her ex, but he and I started talking and we’re really hitting it off. What should I do?

The key here is honesty as soon as possible. One of the biggest things about adhering to “girl code” or “bro code” is that secrecy often leads to hurt feelings and fractured relationships. You can’t control who you fall for, but you can do some damage control soon by quickly telling your friend about what’s going on between you and her ex. I can’t promise that she’ll take it great because I don’t know the nature of their break-up nor what your friendship is like, but I’ve seen this scenario play out multiple times in the past and it always looks worse when it’s hidden for too long. If the conversation doesn’t go smoothly, you might have to sit down and figure out if the relationship is worth your friendship, and being open about this thought process with your friend’s ex might give you some guidance as well. I hope you and your friend get through this as painlessly as possible!

xoxo,

Sally Seahawk

Follow @uncwseahawk on Instagram and regularly check our story to get a chance to get your question answered by Sally Seahawk! New editions of “Advice from Sally Seahawk” go out Wednesdays at 12 p.m. on theseahawk.org.