As an avid reader and lover of folk tales, I get excited when I see new versions of old-school heroes being brought to the big screen. I get less excited when I see them met with critical and commercial lambasting, such as with last year’s “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword.” It is only now that I truly understand the ‘reboot hate’ after seeing 2018’s, “Robin Hood.” But just how off target was this one?

The film opens on Robin Hood who returns from the war to see that he is pronounced dead, his estate has been repossessed by the Sheriff of Nottingham and the love of his life, Marian, has married another. Wishing revenge on the Sheriff for ruining his life, he teams up with Little John to hit the enemy where he hurts most: his wallet.

The script of this movie seems good on paper, but the awful pacing leaves the events having no real impact. The dialogue ranges from okay to horribly sophomoric and painful to listen to. Worst of all, scenes range from incredibly ludicrous to completely unnecessary. The characters are about as average and generic as can be, save for our titular hero. He manages to have just the right balance of cockiness and genuine heart to make you root for him.

The acting is honestly not that bad, but there are a lot of cracks. Taron Edgerton and Ben Mendelsohn provide a good foundation, but unfortunately Eve Hewson, as the love interest, ranges from okay at best to abysmal at worst. Furthermore, most actors, including Hewson and Jamie Foxx, cannot seem to keep a consistent accent, which gets really distracting.

The action scenes are okay but can be too shaky at times and can get pretty boring. (Save for the point where Robin shoots the bow with his feet. Yes really.) Sadly, the music is barely a footnote.

Now, we get to my biggest issue with the film. THIS FILM IS ALL ONE GIANT ANACHRONISM! The aesthetic of this movie tries to appear timeless by mixing many different styles and periods of clothing. This, of course, only ends up looking gaudy and distracting. It is all very nice looking, but none of it goes together. Also, the medieval casino scene makes me tremble with rage at its idiocy.

I went into “Robin Hood” hoping for a mindless bit of fun that did not take itself too seriously. In a way, I got exactly what I asked for, except it was way too brainless and not fun enough. Spend your money on literally anything else and avoid this movie like the plague!